Canada..

…This is just one more reason why your country is a pathetic, milquetoast facsimile of the United States.  You have no culture beyond the catch-phrases that idiot fratboys have taken from Strange Brew, you’re too much of a pussy to own proper guns , and only psychopaths and child molesters would think of putting malt vinegar on French fries.  You put ketchup on French fries, assholes.  But the subject in question, and the worst part about you, Canada, is that after watching 8 years of Barack Obama wipe his ass with America, you elect the lily-white equivalent of Barack Obama to be your… whatever you people call your top guy.  District manager?  Is that the top elected office in Canada?  I think so.

Anyway, this trickster that you put into office (Justin Trudeau) just released a statement on the death of brutal dictator, Fidel Castro.  Here’s the full text:

The Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, today issued the following statement on the death of former Cuban President Fidel Castro:

“It is with deep sorrow that I learned today of the death of Cuba’s longest serving President.

“Fidel Castro was a larger than life leader who served his people for almost half a century. A legendary revolutionary and orator, Mr. Castro made significant improvements to the education and healthcare of his island nation.

“While a controversial figure, both Mr. Castro’s supporters and detractors recognized his tremendous dedication and love for the Cuban people who had a deep and lasting affection for “el Comandante”.

“I know my father was very proud to call him a friend and I had the opportunity to meet Fidel when my father passed away. It was also a real honour to meet his three sons and his brother President Raúl Castro during my recent visit to Cuba.

“On behalf of all Canadians, Sophie and I offer our deepest condolences to the family, friends and many, many supporters of Mr. Castro. We join the people of Cuba today in mourning the loss of this remarkable leader.”

You suck so fucking hard, Canada.

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